8 Tips to Make You Sound like a Wine Expert
It’s time to order wine at a restaurant. Either you start to sweat and think about climbing the mountains, as you realize that you don’t know much at all about wine. Or, you can pretend that you are an expert by using a few tricks that make it sound like you have mastered every trick.
Learn the Language
Tumbleweed is a great sound to choose a wine. But a little bit of language will help you avoid looking like a bunch of hammers. You can brush up on wine descriptions to match the wines you enjoy and then sneak them in like you were meant to. Do you love a Chardonnay? You can also throw buttery or cream there. Have you heard of Shiraz? You can try using jammy or fruity. You might find Bordeaux rocking your world. Then give earthy or spicy another try.
You have two options: you can stand there and gnaw on your forearms in despair, or you can confidently open a wine bottle, pour a few drops, and declare that the wine is large (if it has an expansive quality) or tight ( if it needs to be air-dried before drinking). It’s important to learn about the wines you like without being too naive or looking like a crackpot.
Show Your Glass Love
Your wine glass holding style can make you look professional or make you sound like a Mickey Mouse. If you hold your wine glass by its stem, you don’t want to appear like a supercharged baller. This allows the wine to stay at the temperature for longer. It also keeps its wine-Licious longer. Put away that pinky finger! It’s the mother sign of wine novices and is about as graceful as a pig on a block of ice.
The Five S’s of Wine Tasting
It’s tempting after a hard day to gulp down your wine as if you’ve been in the Sahara Desert for a whole year. You need to be patient and cool if you want your wine to taste like a wine expert, not like a truckload full of chihuahuas. The five S’s of wine tasting are Swirl. Sniff. Sip. And Savor.
This mantra should be your guideline whenever you receive a bottle of wine. You’ll be instantly promoted to the expert level. You can ask to taste the wine before you order, even if you only order one glass.
Ask the Sommelier
Do you feel like your brain is smoking from the effort to decode a wine list? It’s possible to stay nine feet deep in wine hell or fake it by asking an expert! Even though the idea of asking the sommelier may make you feel angsty, they can be your secret weapon to looking like a wine expert!
This strategy is easy because you only need to know the type of wine you enjoy, e.g. You only need to know what kind of wine you like, e.g. fruity, full-bodied, etc. and what price range you can afford. The sommelier will then make a few recommendations. The sommelier will then make a few recommendations for you. You can bask in the glory and look like an expert by accepting one of their recommendations. *Hip bump*
If in Doubt… Decant
You want to look like a wine ignoramus at a dinner party. Props are essential. Particularly props of the wine variety. For red wines, pour the wine into a wine decanter first to let it breathe. This not only makes it appear you are an expert but also makes it seem like you’re the hostess with all the best ideas. Decanting can make even the most expensive wines taste better! You’ll be doing everyone an enormous favour.
Learn some wine trivia
It’s easy to make an unsuspecting company believe you know everything about wine by presenting some useless wine trivia. To make them astonished at your wine knowledge, slip in one or two of these statements as you casually pour the wine.
- The grape skins ferment with the juice to give red wine its colour. The skins must be removed before the wine is made.
- The French did not invent the wine, but the oldest wine made was found in Iran in the Neolithic period.
- The Vatican is home to the highest wine consumption per capita globally, surpassing Napa Valley, France and Italy.
Look Like a Pro in a Restaurant
It can be overwhelming to order a wine bottle at a restaurant. It’s not as difficult as you might think.
- The label will be shown to you by the server. To confirm that the bottle you ordered is correct, look at the label. Nod if it is. Before he opens the bottle, tell him if it is.
- The next step is uncorking. Here is where most restaurant patrons get offended by their server’s uncorking. Could you repeat after me: Do? Not. Sniff. The. Cork. Instead, you can touch the cork with your finger to check for moisture and ensure it isn’t crumbly. You can also hand the cork to the server. You can also let your server know if you notice something unusual.
- Now it’s time to enjoy the tasting portion. The server will pour some into the glass. It will be visible in the sunlight if you hold it up. Could you give it a good sniff? Take a second look. Take a sip. Here, you want to look for different flavours, aromas, or colours. Notify your server if you find anything unusual. If you don’t, give another nod, and you are good to go. No embarrassing mistakes made in wine ritual
- Learn proper pronunciation
It’s important to pronounce wine names correctly if you intend to drink wine often.
Ask. Ask. Please help me. Asking beats saying “Shootinoofiedoofiepoopie” the next time you order this Rhone favourite. Keep it in mind for the next order, so you sound like an expert.
Fake it ’til you make it
Do you feel more expert than the rest? It’s not hard to be an expert. This will allow you to navigate wine like an expert.